Crossing Under
by DoomedOne
Summary: Its a story of AC gone wrong, but its better than all the others, no seriously, in this story you don't fell more stupid after reading it than before.
1. Drowning Bird

Jon had decided to go for a nice relaxing walk along the coast, he waved to Kapp'n as he kept his jolly pace, he noticed a few fish in the water and sighed, they were probably all sea bass, which were worth less than nothing at the Nookway. He saw a clump of something being washed ashore and headed in that direction. As he got closer he noticed it was a body.  
"Oh fuck, oh fucking shit." He ran toward the body and grabbed it out of the water; he dragged it up to the ground and felt for a pulse. He was still alive. "Help! Help there's a seagull here and he needs help!" A bear walked out of her house, "What all the commotion Jon?"  
"Olive! It's this seagull, he washed up on the shore, oh god he's bleeding, he's barely alive!"  
"I'll call the police, don't worry Jon." She ran back inside her house. Soon Copper and Booker arrived; they grabbed the seagull and placed it on a stretcher.  
"Do you think he'll be alright?" asked Jon  
"No telling, come on down to the station, we'll have to question you."  
"Why?"  
"It's a hit."  
  
"No. No I don't know anything about any underground meth labs, yeah sure I was asked to collect beehives when I saw them, but that's it." Jon told the police in the station.  
"Alright, nice job, listen Jon, you used to be an employee of Nook right?"  
"Yeah, I still am in a way, I sell him most of his stuff."  
"So now you're an independent business?"  
"That's correct."  
"Are you still in dept to him?"  
"I've got about two-hundred thousand bells to pay off."  
"Alright, do you know where his stock is kept?"  
"No, you don't think Nook killed him do you? He's got a family."  
"I don't think so, but recently we've recovered evidence of a scandal. Actually a few scandals, but we searched his shop, we searched his house, he's clean."  
Booker entered the room, "I got an ID on the seagull, his name's Gulliver, he's a crew member for a merchant ship, and we believe someone hit the ship. Right now we're bringing in a Kappa turtle and a lion like character that goes by the name of Bud.  
"I know them, Kapp'n is my transport where I trade with Bud, and he's so rich he bought the Island, luckily he also gave me a little cabin there."  
"Alright Jon, I'm deputizing you, you need to go undercover for us, get some shit on anyone you can, your free to go."  
"Thank you."  
  
"Hey Tom, I've got the catch of the day for you."  
"Great, what'd you get?"  
"Nothing spectacular, just about five rainbow trout and one angelfish."  
"Well that's great, and uh, you got any-"  
"Hives? No sorry. Speaking of which, hey Tom what do you do when you buy a hive, I mean that's a lot of money for some honey."  
"Um, well I've got to reward your courage Jon, not everyone can-"  
"Cut the crap Tom, seriously you can trust me, what do you do with the crap?"  
"Now you listen Jon, what I do with my merchandise is none of your god damn business, so stay off it. You shouldn't muddle in other's affairs; it can get you into trouble."  
"Tom, you have two boys, you have a wife, what are you doing? You can trust me, I made you rich, I put this town on the map, since me this has become one of the best trading shops there is. You're a regular merchant."  
"I know, and if word got out where I make most my money, why I'd be ruined."  
"I won't tell anyone."  
"Well what are you a priest?"  
"No, but trust me, if you got arrested my business would be ruined too."  
"Alright Jon you talked me down, first off, remember the Joan scandal last month?"  
"That insider trading thing?"  
"Yeah, well, it was my fault. You see I told Rio how my prices were planned out, but no one else, so she benefited and got rich, and in return Joan got her business, I had the most to lose when someone took advantage of this right?"  
"Yeah, so why'd you do it?"  
"Rio came to me because she knew I'd be the least likely culprit, so then I set up a framing for Joan, and they both got hauled to jail."  
"Damn."  
"About the honey, you see there is a type of honey, found only here in Locus Bay, and if you add some certain key ingredients, you get honey meth."  
"Honey meth?"  
"That's right, now listen Jon I had nothin' to do with Gulliver, it was Redd, he set it up, he paid off Kapp'n to keep transportation out of Locus closed, he's got Porter working for him, too, but I have allies as well."  
"Who works for you?"  
"Well, Bud's job is to make sure the merchant ships carrying the honey meth leave the bay safely."  
"Why does Redd want to stop them?"  
"He wants a piece of the pie, right now he's a traveling merchant who's best scam is passing cheap shit for really rare things, by mixing them up. Totakeke is the town dealer. His dealer name is KK Slider, he acts like a roaming guitarist, but he's rolling. Town ain't big enough, not enough honey heads, so I recently expanded it by buying Gulliver's ship and using it to smuggle the honey meth out."  
"The cops don't know this? How do you hide it?"  
"It's easy, I keep it in the train, Totakeke picks it up and walks out."  
"Aren't you afraid Redd'll jump him?"  
"He's armed, but Red has the Resetti brothers working as hit men, so I gotta watch out."  
"Do you have any soldiers?"  
"Yeah, no hit men though, just guards."  
"Who?"  
"Well, they others in this town that are working for me are Blathers, Chip and Jack, but Jack only comes once a year, he's still the best we have, ever Halloween he helps us smuggle the methamphetamine from the lab into the train. Blather's is our storage for the ships, the cops think they're just dropping off artifacts and getting fossils and stuff, not at all, by the way, thanks kid, the cops got a little suspicious with that empty museum, you helped fill it."  
"Where's the mare in all of this?"  
"He doesn't know jack shit, he helps us out though, accidentally. Actually, I'm not sure if he knows or not, all that matters to him is no one died and our economy has never been higher."  
"Well, I thought it was because of my harvest for foreign fruit."  
"That's what the public thinks, 'Jon's famous fruit jelly, every single fruit there is, and he has it'."  
"What does your family think?"  
"I don't want my family involved, hell all that I said has changed because of Gulliver, they don't know my ship was hijacked, all they think is that I'm doing something illegal."  
"You want me to help?"  
"Your rich enough, why do you want to help?"  
"My business survives on your business, I don't have a shop or a ship or my own crate in the train, you do, and I rely on you."  
"Well, what I would like you to do is keep the front, listen to Totakeke so it sounds like a normal guitarist. Oh yeah and Rover is the employee of Katrina, he finds out about anyone who's headed for a town where Katrina is, and then he tells one of the town affiliates that contact her, I just need you to keep that on the low down, too. Katrina brings in tourists."  
  
"So Jon, you find out anything?" asked Copper  
"Tom had nothing to do with it, he's just your average middle man."  
"Well what did you find out?"  
"Nothing, Gulliver fell off his ship, he was drunk."  
"That's not what he told us."  
"Damn it Copper don't interrogate a guy who nearly died earlier."  
"You mind telling us the truth?"  
"Fuck off!"  
"I'll have you arrested as an accomplice, now we still need some more evidence to put Tom away, he's checked out spotless and the only lead we have is some drunken seagull."  
"Alright, this is what I'll say, and that's all, got it?"  
"Shoot."  
"Crazy Redd hired someone to hijack the ship, some pirate I guess."  
"Why?"  
"It was full of ancient artifacts and the works. That shit's expensive."  
"Alright, the story checks out with Bud's, but Kapp'n was a little more honest."  
"Ah fucking Christ."  
"What does Nook have to do with the honey meth."  
"Look you said yourself he's spotless."  
"I know he's not spotless, at least give me one of his accomplices, then you can leave."  
"Damn it he has no fucking accomplices, he's just a solitary merchant."  
"We can stay here as long as you want." Copper said while Booker entered the room, he shut the lights off and turned on a lamp.  
"You better tell me, we have enough on you for accomplice which can give you an easy two months, tell me." Copper grew agitated.  
"You better tell him man, you know, Copper can get pretty rough." said Booker.  
"Ah Christ you aren't trying this shit on me now, what you think I'm an amateur? Is that it?"  
"Tell us now!"  
"Fuck you, I hate Kapp'n, I hate you two, I hate everyone, you have Kapp'n's story why can't you use that?"  
"Your one of the most well favored merchants in the state, with your word he's as good as gone."  
"Alright, our economy relies on Tom you got that? He's doing something, and Redd wants a slice, so he jacked the ship. That's all I'll say, can I go now?"  
Copper though it over, "Yeah. Yeah you're free to go."  
Jon stood up and walked out the door, "Oh fuck what did I just get him into." 


	2. Mind on Ground

It was an average day in Locus Bay, Jon walked in with some fruit. "Hey Tom."  
"Hold on Jon, I have to talk to you."  
"Alright, what?"  
"Could we have this conversation in private?"  
"Look, I didn't tell 'em-"  
"Copper got another search warrant, my wife and I had an argument last night."  
"He didn't fine anything?"  
"No, but that's three warrants, my wife his throttling me, now I want to know what you know."  
"Alright, where do you want to talk?"  
Nook looked at Boris, pretending to look at shovels when he was really focusing on their conversation. "The docks,"  
  
They headed down past the flowers to the pond, fish swam around, none of them worth catching.  
"What did you tell them?" asked Nook.  
"Look, they wouldn't let me leave."  
"Don't give me that crap, now I know Jon the Human is no god damned snitch, Gulliver maybe, Kapp'n obviously, but not Jon, what happened?"  
"Look I all I said was you were getting some extra cash on the side and Redd wanted a slice, I told them it was Redd, Bud told them it was Redd, everyone told them it was Redd. I mean he controls the Black fucking Market, your just an easier target, you know the pigs, they have to get someone."  
"God damn it Jon I trusted you!"  
"Look, I'll fix it."  
"You're in dept to me more than just cash now."  
"Okay I'll do my best to get you out of this shit, I'm not going back to the station, and if you get hauled, I'll help out your family and run your business 'til you get back, man I'm asking you to trust me."  
"I did and you double crossed me."  
"Hey I didn't tell them shit, it was Gulliver!"  
"Alright, I'll forgive you, but you got to do one thing."  
"Yeah what?"  
"You got to take care of Gulliver." The fish swam down into the depths, away from view; a bug flew off from a patch in the tree.  
"You have got to be kiddin' me."  
"It doesn't end there, you have to take care of anyone who is a danger to my business."  
"Dude you're talkin' crazy, I mean what happened? You wife is pissed at you? So fucking what!"  
"Listen I have a good family, I have a good life, I'm not letting this shit bring me down! I stuck this town on the map, it was all me! I'm the only god damned man with a shop in this town!"  
"Alright, now listen Gulliver is a good man, they cops took advantage of him, now I'm no cop killer, but if anyone's threatening your business, it's the five O's."  
"Yeah, your right, but I still need a fucking favor done, now you've heard of Crescent point right?"  
"Yeah, three towns east of here, what about it?"  
"Wendell's a honey head, he's more addicted to my shit than anyone I know, and he's got a business to pay for it, too. Or at least he did until the pigs shut it down."  
"What was the business?"  
"He painted for a living, and he traded his paintings for food."  
"Yeah I know I have some of his originals."  
"Yeah well people like Redd used his paintings to send threat letters, he'd wait outside their house and then 'e'd say something like, 'Yo Redd wanted me to paint this for you.' The thing is they basically were used to inform everyone working for him about business."  
"So he's our enemy."  
"I don't care about that shit, but the cops busted him there, they couldn't make anymore arrests, anyway he helps business, he doesn't have the money anymore, now that his job with Redd is over."  
"So what can I do?"  
"He's on town arrest, bust him over here and I'll give him a job."  
"Alright, later."  
The two arrived back at Nookway, Jon dropped off some stuff and grabbed some bells from the Register, and Boris was still there. Jon grabbed a train ticket from the rack and headed off; he crossed the bridge and ran passed the message board. He ran up the stairs.  
"Oh Hey Jon! Where you headed?" asked Porter.  
"Crescent Point."  
"Alright train will here in a few minutes."  
"Hey Porter." Said Don Resetti.  
"Oh hey Don, you leaving?"  
"Nope, just needed to talk to Jon."  
"Sorry Don, my ride's coming soon."  
"Listen Jon, you know what's up and I know what's up, cut the fucking crap and walk with me."  
"Woah woah woah." Said Porter, "Please keep you language to a minimum."  
"Fuck off nigger!"  
"Hey shut you mouth!" yelled Jon.  
"Whatever, just to let you know this doesn't please Redd, I was going to offer it painless."  
"What'd I ever do to you? What'd anyone do to Redd? No seriously say it in front of Porter, actually fuck it kill me, the cops will be all over you!"  
"You think I'm that stupid?"  
"The train will be here any minute, if you kill us, you'll never escape, but thanks for the threat, because I'm carrying a tape recorder."  
"Fuck you think I would be stupid enough to over look that?" he grabbed a gun from his jacket and aimed at Jon, he nearly pulled the trigger before a huge chunk of lead blew apart his brain.  
"Holy shit!"  
"Son of a bitch," said Leopold.  
"Fuck, Leopold?" asked Jon.  
"Expert fox hunter, thank you!"  
"Christ, we got to get out of here." said Jon.  
"What about me? I'm on duty nearly twenty four seven!  
"Alright, We grab the bullet and run, oh god I hear the train, look distressed, swear and shit, say he was depressed and shot himself, no that won't work, ah fuck the trains coming closer, he Leopold got the bullet? Pocket it and run, Porter yell and shout, oh fuck the conductor spotted us, crap Leopold run! Porter follow my lead." The train approached, Jon threw up his arms and yelled help a few times. Porter yells and jumps around too.  
  
"So let me get this straight, Don and Redd were arguing, then Redd fired at Don and blew the top of his off." asked Copper.  
Porter stared up at Copper, "Yeah."  
"Then he took off?"  
"That's right."  
"What were they arguing about?"  
"Something about how Redd didn't pay Don off, so he grabbed his gun and pointed at him, so Redd shot him."  
"Right after he shot him, he took off?"  
"Yeah."  
"Didn't do nothing afterward?"  
"Nope."  
Booker walked in and the two began talking, "Yeah his story checks out so far." Booker looked at him, "No it doesn't, CSI didn't find a bullet, there's no bullet in the body, he said Redd took right off."  
"Ah fuck." He turned to Porter and looked down at him, "Alright your stories full of holes now tell us the truth!"  
"I did tell you the truth."  
"No you didn't, now we'll be here as long as it takes."  
  
"Leopold was arrested; I have to appear as a witness."  
"FUCK! You know you'll be asked why he wanted to shoot you."  
"There has got to be a way out of this, our economy depends on it."  
"Our economy depends on this case, our economy depends on the lawyers and what questions they ask me, we have to blackmail them."  
"Ah god, not blackmail, I fucking farmed honey meth, that's it. I was just your average guy with a personal business, now I'm your average crime king."  
"Alright I don't want to do it any more than you did, but the bastard Porter couldn't take Copper."  
"Alright now no one knows why he wanted to take you out, we can make something else up."  
"They'll see right through it, we have to use blackmail."  
"Ah fuck me. Fuck me." 


	3. Tapped for blood

"Hello Egbert."  
"Oh well hello Jon, how are things? Need some work? Or you just want to talk?"  
"I have a house eight times the size of your's and your asking if I need work?"  
"Alright sorry I asked, so what's going on?"  
"Oh nothing, except I heard about the uh, the magazine."  
"What magazine?"  
"You have a good reputation here don't you?"  
"Yeah I suppose."  
"I suppose if word got out you were buying pornographic magazines-"  
"What do mean I'm buying-"  
"You know I could just kill you."  
"What do you want?"  
"Alright, I have to appear in court, you defending Leopold right?"  
"Yeah."  
"Don't ask me why Don wanted to kill me you understand?"  
"Alright."  
"Don't let Leopold go down."  
"I'll do my best."  
  
"Well hello Oxford."  
"Jon."  
"Oxford, I'm bored, I'll cut to the chase, I know about your conversation with Blathers the other day, it'll be in the town Bulletin board unless you do what I ask."  
"Well Jon, I never expected you, of all people, to resort to blackmail, what is it? You want me not to call you for questioning?"  
"That'd look to odd, just don't ask me why Don wanted to kill me, and, let Leopold walk, he saved my life."  
"It goes against my integrity."  
"What does the bulletin board read tomorrow? Well Hello Blathers, sorry I stuck my-"  
"Okay, I'll try not to do that well."  
  
"Leopold?"  
"Hello? Oh Jon, how are you?"  
"Just fine, listen Leopold, what I'm about to tell you is life threatening." Jon looked around the room, there was a camera staring at them, and a guard was pacing back and forth at the entrance. Leopold nodded as Jon whispered to him, "Don't trust Porter, he works for Redd, he acted like a umbling fool that broke to cover himself, he's been acting brilliantly stupid, and he'll walk in there tomorrow and talk in order to protect you. He wants you to walk, he really wants you dead but he has to defend you, he has to keep his bumbling innocent personality."  
"Alright, so am I walking?"  
"Yeah, I blackmailed the lawyers, now listen, when you walk, skip town. On the train you should see Rover, avoid the simians understand? Keep in sight of crowded areas until the train arrives, dash for it but make sure you make it. On the train tell Rover your calling in a favor from Nook, you need to stay in hiding until this all boils over."  
"Okay."  
"When I say simians, I mean avoid them all, Peewee, Cesar, all of them."  
"Okay."  
"Later."  
  
"So how'd it go?" asked Nook.  
"They agreed to the blackmail, if they screw up, they're reputations are gone."  
"Along with ours."  
"I'm sure it'll work out, I also gave Leopold survival directions."  
"Poor guy, I hope he lives."  
"He saved my life, if nothing else I'll save his."  
"Well, when do you have to appear in court?"  
"Tomorrow."  
"Fuck, you know I have a bad feeling."  
"Now? Gulliver was nearly killed, Don was killed, Copper is catching on to your methamphetamine, and Leopold has a bounty on his head, but you're getting a bad feeling now?"  
"Seems weird doesn't it?"  
"You know its funny; I never said swear words until I saw Gulliver in the water."  
  
"So Leopold grabbed his bullet before he left?"  
"Yeah."  
"Why?"  
"I didn't want him caught, he saved my life, it was indirect self- defense."  
The judge stepped in, "Oxford can you please get to the point? You've asked him the same questions for a half hour."  
"Just one more question." Oxford stared hard at Jon, as though contemplating things. "Why did Don want to kill you?"  
Jon looked at him hard, glaring, his eyes were pale with anger. "I'd rather not answer." The jury gasped and looked at each other, "Look, Leopold was a good man, he saved my life, I'm sure he shot to maim okay? Don was a son of a bitch-"  
"He don't you go insultin' Don! Leopold fucking killed him and he needs the death penalty!"  
"Resetti shut up, sit down!" said the judge. Resetti walked out of the court enraged, he slammed the door closed.  
"Fuck."  
Leopold did manage to walk, and tomorrow in the Bulletin board it said exactly what Oxford did.  
  
"So do you think he's okay?"  
"I don't know, on my way to Crescent Point I'll ask Rover about it, but seriously, we have to get into hiding, there are two huge bounties on both of us, people like Ace, Boots, T-Bone, Spike and Grizzly will be here, we need to get your family, you and I somewhere safe."  
"Maybe I can be of some service." Tortimer appeared in the doorway.  
"Mayor? How'd you get here? We lock the door after ten."  
"Don't you know as mare I have keys to everything?"  
"Alright, anyway what can you do?"  
"Stay at the lighthouse, I'll bring your food until all of this boils over."  
"Sounds good, come on let's go pick up my wife, the sooner we get there the better."  
"Alright I'll just pick up some things at my place, meet you there."  
"Mare go ahead and go on without me, too, I have to tidy up here."  
"Suit yourselves."  
On Jon's way home, he saw a police car, and ambulance, and a Hearst.  
"Oh no, ah no, oh god no." He ran up to Booker, who was talking to Porter, "What happened?"  
"I'm sorry Jon, Leopold was shot."  
"Fuck, where's Rover?"  
"He took off; I don't know where he is, why?"  
"Who hit him?"  
"We believe it was Boots."  
"Ah Jesus, Rover's got a bounty on his head now, too."  
"What? Something has to do with Redd?"  
"I have to go."  
"We'd like you to stay for questioning."  
"No time!"  
  
"Alright guys this is the place, the lighthouse, but the lights are off so Tortimer isn't here yet."  
"Honey, the door is unlocked, he's here."  
"Honey, don't go inside."  
"What? I thought we were supposed to stay here."  
"No, come one let's go, Olive's isn't far from here, we'll check back in the morning, let's bunk at her place."  
"What's the matter? Afraid of the dark?"  
"Someone's in there."  
"What? Well yeah, Mayor Tortimer."  
"No, I mean someone is in there, come on, we have to get away from here."  
"But what about the Mayor?"  
"He's dead."  
Jon came out from the woods, "Tom, they got Leopold, Rover's missing, I think they're-"  
"Running taps."  
"Yeah how'd you know?"  
"Why would Mayor Tortimer unlock the lighthouse and walk upstairs without turning on the light? He turned on the head light at seven but even that's off."  
"They even had taps in the prison."  
"We need to get to Olive's"  
"No, get your family to Dozer's, I have unfinished business, do you have any weapons?"  
"There's storage in the museum, the wishing well sees everything in the town at once, as it where Resetti is, ask it where the bounty hunters are, if anything looks like its headed toward Olive's, kill it." 


	4. Golden Death

"Well."  
"Yes?" The well responded as Jon sprinted toward it.  
"Well, I need to know the state of the town, I need to know who's coming in and out of Dozer's."  
"I know. Lovely Porter has come here already asking the same question so no worries."  
"What? Fuck."  
"Yeah he saw you coming and decided to return to his post."  
"Oh my god, he saw them head toward Dozers?"  
"Yeah, they're already running this way, they're over the bridge, a Rhinoceros is following them, but Porter said he's a friend so no worries."  
Jon grabbed his golden axe and began running toward the bridge. "Tom! TOM! GET DOWN!!!" Bullets from a mini gun blasted at them. Spike the Rhinoceros get the bullets flying, Jon jumped and rolled behind a tree gripping his axe. He got his golden shovel from his mysteriously huge pockets and threw it toward Nook.  
Spike began reloading and walked slowly toward Tommy Nookling, Jon jumped from behind the tree and began running, axe ready for a swing to hit him. Nook got up and began running for his who was crawling trying to avoid Spike, a foot was on his neck holding him down. The mini gun was held down on his head.  
SHING!  
The head slid off Spike neck, Jon gasped about ten feet away, and Nook was thirteen feet away. Dozer stood there holding a machete.  
"Oh god, oh god what did I do?" Dozer fell to the ground looking at the corpse; blood dripped all over Tommy's struggling body, his mother helped him out. Dozer collapsed. "He dropped it on the way here, I." Dozer began to cry, he leaned against Spikes body as tears sprayed from his eyes.  
"We oughtta keep moving. I bet Porter's back at the well by now."  
"What?" Nook looked up at me.  
"Porter used the well to see the Mayor headed toward the lighthouse, to see Leopold headed toward the train station, he sees everything."  
"What?"  
"Nothing is tapped, it's a conspiracy. Porter fooled everyone in town."  
"It's Porter? It's all Porter?"  
"He's still under Redd, but I don't think anyone besides Redd knows that. I think he forwarded things to read, who communicated to bounty hunters to hit them, and he's been doing it for years I bet."  
"But every time I'm at the station, he's there."  
"I know he beats you to it."  
"The wishing well is on the other side of town!"  
"Redd has some other scam going, he's loaded, with the help of the Resetti brothers, he probably has some type of subway system worked out."  
"You're insane; you're just making up everything you say!"  
"Am I? The other day I was digging up fossils and I accidentally hit a rock, it turned read and popped open revealing tons of money."  
"You're kidding."  
"No, it was all there, I bet it was supposed to be picked up by someone."  
"That doesn't prove the subway station."  
"I think the entrance to it's under the rocks."  
"Can't be."  
"Let's go back to the wishing well."  
"Okay, fine."  
They all began walking back toward the wishing well, Jon grinned, "I bet he's on his way back, we might be able to catch him in the act."  
"You think?" asked Nook. Jon sprinted toward the wishing well, he dove back there.  
"Where's Porter?"  
The well stirred, "I can't find him."  
"Damn he's under. Do you know where he was before he disappeared?"  
"He saw you coming, then he went north toward the train station, then Dozer came with you guys, and he stopped to head back, he was going toward the lighthouse when he disappeared." Nook was in the distance.  
"Do you know the exact location?"  
"Why do you ask?"  
"Listen Well, he works for Redd."  
"That's absurd: he works for the train company."  
"No he doesn't, he's playing this town."  
"Jon." Nook had arrived.  
"What?"  
"Jon, he heard your entire conversation."  
"What?"  
"He hid behind the tree."  
"Ah Fuck! You lied to me you fucking well!"  
"Of course, Porter is my friend, I saw what you guys did to Spike, Porter won't get the fate."  
"Porter is playing you! Tomorrow I'll come with a sponge and suck you dry."  
"No you wouldn't."  
Nook took Jon's shovel in hand and ran toward the tree where Porter sat, he turned the corner and Porter yelped. Jon was on his tail.  
"Tom look out!"  
A pickaxe was jabbed into Nook's head. He fell to the ground as Resetti removed his pickaxe. Jon came at him with his golden axe and heaved it at his neck. Resetti grinned and moved up his pickaxe to block it. Jon's axe sliced right through it and continued on through his neck, Porter had opened a rock and jumped down it. Jon tried to follow him but the rock was shut.  
  
"Hello, who are you?" Copper asked as a man approached.  
A penguin held up a badge, "Detective Roald."  
"A detective aye?"  
"You have five dead bodies and your mayor is missing, I'm surprised they didn't send the FBI."  
"I asked to keep it down, this is a big case and there is some type of conspiracy going on."  
"Conspiracy? You're kidding."  
"I'm not kidding. Heard of the merchant Jon?"  
"The jam guy?"  
"Yeah, he told us Crazy Redd the rare furniture trader is running his own scams."  
"Obviously, we know Redd is running the black market, that doesn't have anything to do with the hits."  
"I think Redd organized the hits, and I think Jon knows something, but he skipped town yesterday with Nook's family, we couldn't get a word."  
"Who's running his shop?"  
"It's closed."  
"This town's going to Hell."  
"Not if we can help it."  
"Alright I need to call in all witnesses: that train guy, the guy who sodomized the museum guy, the museum guy, the other lawyer, the seagull, anyone else?"  
"We have Kapp'n, Bud, Olive, and Dozer."  
"Get them all."  
"Booker!" Booker came out from the lost and found.  
"Yes?"  
"Booker call the witnesses, there are nine of them, Porter, Egbert, Oxford, Blathers, Gulliver, Kapp'n, Bud, Olive and Dozer."  
"On it."  
  
"So you picked up his machete and chased after him, then killed him just before he killed Tommy Nookling?"  
Dozer sat in a puddle of tears. "I don't want them to know, don't let Porter know I'm here, please don't let him know I'm here."  
"What's wrong with Porter?"  
"He's." Dozer gulped, sweating like the bear he was. "He's... I don't know just let me go!"  
"Copper." Booker said, "He just killed a guy, let him go."  
"He faces criminal offense Booker."  
"Just let him, it was self defense."  
"Alright, Dozer, run on home its pretty close isn't it?" asked Copper.  
"Yes."  
"We'll keep a close eye on you if you need help; you probably have a bounty on your head."  
"Okay."  
Dozer stood up and walked out. He passed Porter who was next into the station. Dozer looked at Porter trembling. Porter walked in and sat down. He shook and stared at Copper fearfully.  
"So Porter, where were two days ago at eleven forty-five?"  
"I- I was at the wishing well."  
"Doing what?"  
"W-Well I wanted to know how the roots were doing, I'm making a garden."  
"Then what?"  
"Then I heard gun fire and took off."  
"Where'd you go?"  
"They were close and Jon was holding an axe so I hid, then Nook came at me and Resetti killed him to defend me, then Jon-He... He cut off Resetti's head."  
"Whoa, that's how it happened?"  
"Yeah, why what'd Dozer say?"  
"None of your business. Now do you know why Nook wanted to kill you?"  
"He thought I was somebody else, honest someone was after him, he had a big bounty on his head, I understand his mistake."  
"Alright wait outside." Copper said while Roald entered.  
"Whatcha got?"  
"Jon blackmailed the lawyers so they wouldn't ask him why Don wanted to shoot him."  
"That's something, listen these are our only clues what else?"  
"I think Porter is in on it." Said Copper, Booker looked at him accusingly.  
"What? Porter isn't in on jack squat!"  
"You heard Dozer, I don't think Dozer knows much, but he knows Nook and Jon were angry at him."  
"Detective Roald, I have the files back from forensics, it happened just as Porter said, Resetti killed Nook, Jon killed Resetti. Leopold was his by a poison dart. Don was shot by Leopold's shotgun. One more thing happened."  
"Yeah?"  
"CSI grabbed a machete from the scene where the Rhino was killed, fingerprints belonging to Dozer."  
"He told us, he said the machete belonged to the hit man."  
"Think about this for a second, Porter never leaves his post, he's always standing there."  
"Right, what does that have to do with anything?"  
"Everything, where does he live anyway?"  
"I don't know."  
"He was at the wishing well right?"  
"Right. What are you thinking?"  
"I don't know yet, Roald interrogate the wishing well, you find it north of Mable and Sable's shop, interrogate them, too."  
"Okay. Before I go what'd the other witnesses say?"  
"Gulliver was hit by a pirate ship lead by Ace, Kapp'n ain't saying shit, I can't break him."  
"Maybe I can." Roald headed out.  
"You'll find him at the docks southeast of here."  
Booker looked through his files, "Sir, we found skin samples from every villager in town at the wishing well. We found more of Porter than anyone else."  
"He's the messenger, he probably uses the well to keep an eye on everyone, with this we can get a warrant!"  
"And search what?"  
"I don't know."  
"Porter is simple okay? Maybe he goes there to wish a lot."  
"He said he wanted to find out how his roots were."  
"Well we have no idea where he lives, what the hell are we going to do?"  
"We'll get Pete to follow him."  
"Pete?"  
"Yeah he'll act like he's delivering mail."  
"Well, it's a long shot, but it's our only chance." 


	5. Killing Machine

"This is where Spike used to live, you guys can bunk here for the night, I need to go to the local store and pick up some things." Jon opened the door to Spike's house, they edged in."  
"Alright, we'll be here when you get back." The widow said.  
"Yeah I know. Remember, Crescent Point is no Locus Bay, avoid going outside, you never know who you'll run into."  
"Okay."  
Jon shut the door on the Nooklings. He walked down the woods past bugs flying around, he found a rock and sat on it. He clothes were torn, they were cheap clothes anyway, he didn't care. Scars covered his face. He used to be weak, a merchant, the guy who sells his soul to the devil to save his own life, but not anymore. He knew everyone in town was going to start moving out. It was going to be a ghost down. In places like Crescent Point, there are no jobs, nothing. In fact they have too many jobs that slowly the town is losing money. The homeless rate is too high to bear. With Nook's business gone hundreds, maybe even thousands will be jobless: qualified smugglers, sailors and hit men. Redd brought them down, he could have had something big going, maybe he will, maybe with Nook dead he'll take control. Nook was planning on upgrading his store, calling it Nookington's. Not now, now Nook's dead. The cops had leads on his drug business, but the court wouldn't let Copper go near his property again if it wasn't for Gulliver.  
Damn you Gulliver. Why couldn't you die? Why didn't you sink?  
Ouch! A mosquito had bitten him. He grabbed it as it tried to fly off and squished it in his palm. He looked around and realized he was covered in mosquitoes. He stood up and grabbed his net, he threw it around catching them all, they began trying to escape but he had already gotten at least forty.  
"Nice net." An alligator appeared behind him holding a grenade launcher. He blasted it off, Jon dove as the grenade bounced off the rock and exploded in midair.  
"Alfonso."  
"Time to die human!" He blasted off another, and another, an another, one exploded on a tree knocking it down right in front of Jon. He jumped and dove over it, another hit the tree it exploded and burned, Jon was on his legs again, the third one hit the ground to the right of Jon flinging him to the left. He grabbed his axe and ran at Alfonso, he blasted another that Jon hit with the blunt of his axe toward Alfonso, it exploded in midair. "Haw haw haw haw!" He was out of grenades and held his grenade launcher like a bat. The two came at each other. Jon sliced at his gun which swung at Jon.  
CHING  
The axe sliced through the gun, he threw it at Jon who ducked, out of Alfonso's holsters were two .45 caliber automatic handguns. He grinned.  
The bullets flew by, Jon dove for the nearest cover, a bush, he crawled the around the bush as the leafs flew up all around like smoke. Alfonso stopped so his barrels could cool, and out from the leafy smoke emerged Jon gripping the axe behind his neck.  
And the swing. Alfonso jumped back to avoid the swing, held up his pistols to toward Jon, but he Swung again, and again. Alfonso was crawling back on the ground attempting to avoid Jon's berserker axe. His guns were on the ground and he crawled, his head hit a tree.  
Jon grinned, adrenaline pumped through his body. He could not control his body, he held that bloody axe over his head, ready to swing it down upon the helpless Alfonso. A bomb hit a tree behind him. The explosion flung him into the tree where Alfonso lay. Jon was knocked unconscious.  
  
His eyes were opened as a couple of eye drops fell into each one. He decided he was in a hospital. "Doctor?" He spoke. He saw a white figure approach him.  
"Nope, you remember me right Jon? It's me K.K. Slider."  
"Oh hey man, what happened?"  
"What do you remember?"  
"I remember. Alfonso."  
"Yep, he attacked you, you were about to kill him when T-Bone bombed you, they were going to kill you so I chased them off."  
"Did you kill them?"  
"No. They ran off, I got one in the leg though."  
"Oh yeah. your armed."  
"Yeah."  
"I need to find some supplies."  
"Supplies?"  
"For the Nooklings."  
"Oh, uh, I'll take care of it."  
"They're in Spike's."  
"Alright, you stay here. You'll be safe, but just in case, here." Totakeke handed Jon a .357.  
"A magnum?"  
"Ever use one?"  
"On occasion." Totakeke walked out of the room to meet with Wendel.  
"So are we going to get some food and stuff?" he asked.  
"No."  
"But what about getting supplies for the Nooklings?"  
"If they really did follow orders and stay in the house, they're already dead."  
"Fuck really?"  
"Bounties this high-" Totakeke held up his hands, "are on their heads."  
"Damn."  
"Yeah, I think Jon is our only hope to solving this case. We can't let Redd win."  
"I'll keep an eye after him."  
"Okay, I need to repair my barrel. I had to burn it when going after those two bitches."  
"How much ammo did you use?"  
"I don't know about four clips."  
"Alright later."  
  
Totakeke emerged from his hideout holding his guitar. He took a deep breath and began walking the streets toward the gun store. It was noon. The streets were crowded with business animals, shoppers and gang bangers. He emerged at the gun shop, they said his gun would be ready soon. Totakeke was a special customer, they custom made his gun to be stealthy, very stealthy. He grabbed some lunch and came back; he also picked up some ammunition and loaded his gun in the store. As he walked back, he heard screams, the voices were very familiar but he couldn't quite place it, they were young, they were in trouble, and they were running straight for him.  
Alfonso.  
Tommy and Timmy Nookling were running straight for him, followed by the ever uglier Alfonso.  
"Fuck." He grabbed his guitar and threw the neck over his shoulder, "Get behind me boys!"  
Out of the neck game a handle with a trigger attached. Out of the top of the head emerged a triple barrel. He held the gun by the handle and pressed down the trigger, aiming at Alfonso.  
"What the hell is that?" The bullets flew at Alfonso like a thunder storm, he was pushed back the humongous pressure as the bullets penetrated his armor. He screamed while blood bumped away. Totakeke stopped. Alfonso stood there, pressed back against a building, a river of blood poured from his body. He coughed out some blood before falling dead.  
"Come on boys, its time to bury your mother."  
  
Jon walked out of his room wearing his hospital robe. He went from room to room searching every corner and looking through every pile.  
"Watcha looking for?" asked Wendell.  
"My clothes." Jon responded.  
"Your clothes? They were scorched. KK's coming back with something though." at that they heard a shift come from the ventilation system. "It's probably a mercenary or bounty hunter, stay behind me." He said as he lightly lunged his gigantic body toward his rifle. Jon ignored him and ran to his room to grab his revolver. He heard a gun shot from the hallway and opened to magnum, it was loaded; he cocked it before opening the door, three more gunshots as he turned the corner, the corner and so Wendell bleeding like crazy blowing out his ammunition, it was Alfonso shooting him. Jon aimed his gun and fired six shots, five hit Alfonso's armor, on more shot from Wendell finished him off, before the walrus fell dead to the ground. Jon went back to his room to reload his magnum. He also put on the belt and holstered his gun. The he dragged Wendell's body outside to bury it, as soon as he got outside Totakeke emerged from the woods.  
"Dude Alfonso struck here." Jon immediately said.  
"What?" Totakeke asked as the Nooklings arrived whimpering.  
"He broke in and killed Wendell!"  
"Impossible!"  
"No."  
"I just killed him like three hours ago!"  
"Damn, say, where's the mother?"  
"Dead."  
"Fuck, well I just saw Alfonso kill Wendell, his body is in your fucking hospital!"  
"Alright show me!" With that the four walked into the room, to see a large puddle of blood.  
"Mother fucker."  
"Well where is he?"  
"He should be burning in hell! He's still gotta' be somewhere around here."  
"Well anyway, here are your new clothes." Totakeke handed him a black shirt, some baggy jeans, boxers and a gray coat.  
"Well alright." He went into the other room and began to change into his new clothes, his coat went from shoulder to mid shins, and he also had some new boots. He came back with his gun in his holster. "Let's rock."  
"Rock what?"  
"Alfonso can obviously fake his own death."  
"With a gallon of blood?"  
"Well however he does it, we'll rip his head off and see him try and crawl away."  
"What about the little ones?"  
"Oh god, I don't know, how did they survive?"  
"They told me they were playing near a window and their mother told them to run and shoved them through it."  
"Well, then I guess we have no choice, they have to come with us. We'll have to find them weapons." Jon looked at the Nooklings and sighed, and then he went for the door. Totakeke moved to follow him, followed closely by the Nooklings. He felt the hairs on his back stiffen and he turned behind him to look up, nothing. He looked side to side but nothing.  
"Something wrong?" asked Totakeke.  
"No." He took one more glance around, "Nothing."  
"On your nine!"  
"What?" A bullet flashed a millimeter from his face and hit the wall, another grazed his forehead. He turned to faced Alfonso. His gun was out and pointed at the beasts face. Six blasts came straight at him. The fire was joined by Totakeke as he grabbed his guitar by the handle and blew his triple barrel toward Alfonso. The bullets blasted him through the doorway he was hiding behind. He flew back against the wall and began bleeding.  
"Holy shit, what was that?" Jon looked shocked at Totakeke and he opened his handle and stuck in another clip, then turned it back into guitar position to let the clip fall in place. He then stuck out the hand again and walked through the doorway.  
"Help me out Jon; figure out how he's staying alive." Jon walked toward the corpse while reloading his gun.  
"What kind of guitarist are you?"  
Totakeke, now kneeling before the corpse, looked back at Jon, "Who said I was a guitarist? I'm a drug dealer." He held up his gun to Alfonso's eye and held down the trigger until its head was mush. Popping out of the neck was the remain of a very complicated wiring system, among the blood where wire pieces and computer chips  
"A robot?" 


End file.
